Even unprepared for all this, having no frame of reference to guide him along, this isn't the way it was supposed to go, supposed to be. The idea of needing to justify himself and the strong, terrifying force pulling him open from the inside never figured into his rehearsal and all he can do is stare back, stricken, feeling a sharp swooping in his belly. Then he looks away from Ed to the spread of food over the table, to the food going to waste.
The thundering of his heart fills the room.
"Forgive me, I..." Oswald tries, a pained knit to his brow. He shakes his head as if to clear it, even laughs, a mirthless little hitch of air. But it's too late to pass it all off as nothing. "Clearly I've made a mistake. I don't know what has gotten into me."
It doesn't cross his mind that Ed's confusion could be rooted in a place of pain and unworthiness, the same demons he wrestled with and who beat him down, more often than not. But it doesn't matter, none of it matters, as he slowly pushes to his feet, the ache in his leg a distant thing, faraway. He feels for his cane and finds it.
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"What?" It's barely louder than a whisper.
Even unprepared for all this, having no frame of reference to guide him along, this isn't the way it was supposed to go, supposed to be. The idea of needing to justify himself and the strong, terrifying force pulling him open from the inside never figured into his rehearsal and all he can do is stare back, stricken, feeling a sharp swooping in his belly. Then he looks away from Ed to the spread of food over the table, to the food going to waste.
The thundering of his heart fills the room.
"Forgive me, I..." Oswald tries, a pained knit to his brow. He shakes his head as if to clear it, even laughs, a mirthless little hitch of air. But it's too late to pass it all off as nothing. "Clearly I've made a mistake. I don't know what has gotten into me."
It doesn't cross his mind that Ed's confusion could be rooted in a place of pain and unworthiness, the same demons he wrestled with and who beat him down, more often than not. But it doesn't matter, none of it matters, as he slowly pushes to his feet, the ache in his leg a distant thing, faraway. He feels for his cane and finds it.
"Excuse me."