yet you cannot live without me

[riddleman]

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[riddleman]

Excellent. If it's a nice enough watch, I'll consider it worth it. What would we even do, with me like that?

I'm just saying. You should just finally open up a gay club and get it over with. I support it!

[beaky]

Let people appreciate how good they look then go make love in my office.

It's not a gay club, it's a club for everyone. I just happen to have a lot of attractive men working for me who sometimes remove their shirts.

[riddleman]

Fuck, you mean.

At least you're finally getting some revenue, so I can't knock your shirtless policy.

[beaky]

A vulgar word. We don't 'fuck' Edward. We make love.

It's going very well. I'm quite proud of how it's working out.

[riddleman]

When I am wearing leather? We fuck. We screw. We bang.

Do a strip club next.

[beaky]

We fuck, screw and bang with love. So it's still making love.

No. My mother would turn in her grave. I'm a good boy, I will own no dens of sin.

[riddleman]

Fair enough. Now I want you to say those words out loud when I get home.

Without any disrespect to your mother, but from what you've told me, I believe she'd have appreciated a good-looking muscular man as much as her son does.

[beaky]

No, what do you take me for? I will not.

How dare you? She would not condone anything of the sort. Besides, she only wanted one man and that was me. No one else.

[riddleman]

You really are slumming it with me, aren't you?

...yes. Forget I said anything.

[beaky]

You make me say the worst kinds of things, darling.

It's true. She would have loved you. She would have been very confused by you but she would have loved you.

[riddleman]

I'm such a bad influence. I deserve to be punished.

So, like you? I can imagine. Shame I never got to meet her.

[beaky]

You will! Making me say such awful words.

I'm not confused by you at all. Except for when you whatszap me. And yes, it is a shame. I am saddened every day by it.

[riddleman]

I know, the other day I made you call yourself a bitch. That was hilarious.

Whatsapp. And you're confused every time I start talking about my plots or technology.

I know. I'm just glad you never had to meet my father.

[beaky]

It's a strange word, I can say it but I don't see how it applies to me. Or didn't. I rather understand the appeal now.

You talk to fast and you use weird words!

Your father? Is he still alive?

[riddleman]

I just like hearing you whimper it.

'Too' fast, you forgot an o. I realise it's likely a typo, but you know how I am.

Let's not discuss this over text. Maybe at home.

[beaky]

You like to make me say the worst things at the worst times when you know I'm desperate enough to say it.

Pedantic, I remember. Thank you, love <3

Fine. Okay. We can do that.

[riddleman]

Correct. As if you're any better, you love making me beg.

Apologies, but I can only be myself.

Maybe. Speaking of, I am home, when will you be?

[beaky]

I do have a particular fondness for you on your knees, begging for me.

And I love you for it.

Not long now, maybe half an hour at most.

[riddleman]

I'd never have guessed. It's not surprising, really, you are rather short. :P

I'll make dinner.

[beaky]

And you're an ass. I'm not that short, you're just lanky.

You're too good <3

[riddleman]

Yup, I am. Napoleon complex.

I'll make something simple. Maybe pasta, since we can't have that anywhere else without getting shot at.

[beaky]

Lies and slander!

I do miss Italian and you cook it so well. I approve. I can't wait.

[riddleman]

Cutie.

Then hurry home!

[beaky]

I'm coming!

[riddleman]

Edward didn't reply any more, because he was working on creating a pasta dish up to his standards and according to Oswald's taste, which was not actually that difficult, but still required quite a bit of concentration. Luckily he knew his lover's tastes very well and luckily they also had very similar tastes. It worked in their favour where a lot of things were concerned. Food, murder, movie choices...