yet you cannot live without me

[riddleman]

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[riddleman]

"I didn't know you took had an issue with kilts. I find them rather fetching." Edward was amused more than anything by now, so he simply shook his head and made a mental note to find more ways to challenge Oswald's narrow point of view.

"Mhmmm, nope. All gay. Flaming like a house on fire. Gay, gay, gay, gay. So gay." Who cared about maturity, when he could let his fingers climb up Oswald's chest until he bopped his nose with one final: "Gay."

[beaky]

Oswald slapped his hand in annoyance and glared, kicking his chair back to make some distance. He was most definitely pouting now. "Who says I'm all gay? I'm not all gay. Maybe seventy-thirty but I like women. They're -- pleasing. In their own way." They weren't to him. Not that way, never sexually. He did love strong, powerful women who could kick his ass but that was a confusing thing that was mostly about him liking to get his ass kicked and loving strong women who took no one's shit.

"What about me is gayer than you anyway? You're gay! You're dating me." He reached out and whacked Edward on the leg. It wasn't not his mostly manly hit and did little to detract from the current issue. "You sometimes wear pink!"

[riddleman]

"I'm pansexual, as I've explained before. I am attracted to people's minds, gender is an irrelevance. And I happen to look great in pink." There really weren't many areas Edward was insecure in these days, which might be part of why he enjoyed teasing Oswald with his insecurities so much. "I'm in a committed relationship with a man, yes. By that qualifier, I am indeed in a homosexual or gay, if you will, relationship. I happen to enjoy it a lot."

[beaky]

"Well. Me too." Damn him and his lack of shame. He wished that Edward was more bothered by this but he just sat there, a happy smile on his face and all Oswald wanted to do was hit him. No one, absolutely no one, bopped his nose. He was the king of Gotham! None an adorable baby penguin people got to play with for their own amusement. "Nevertheless, It doesn't matter. None of this does. It doesn't matter how I feel about girls, boys, skirts or kilts. I don't care! I just don't think you should let girls get all over you."

[riddleman]

"Really? Because I think I should go to a strip club and use your money to buy myself multiple lap dances." Edward had long since given up on any kind of rational argument when Oswald was in a mood like this, so he didn't even pretend to try. Instead he moved away from the desk, put his hands on the back of Oswald's chair, caught his eyes and leaned in. To bop their noses against each other. "Gay."

[beaky]

"Don't you dare waste our money in a den of sin like that!" Dear God, every day he sounded more and more like his mother. It was weird. And creepy. Oh god, he was going to have to buy a strip club or something to make up for this, wasn;t he? It was getting to be unsettling. He didn't want to be that guy. He watched as Edward leaned in, unsure what he was going to do. And then he did that. Slowly, Oswald exhaled and gripped the arms on his chair. "You're so mature." He pulled his head back and then reached up to flick Edward's nose in kind. "Pan."

[riddleman]

"How's that a waste of money? Clearly, according to you, having women all over me is what I really want anyway." Edward rolled his eyes and then moved one of his hands, the other still at the back of Oswald's chair. This hand was moving to loosen the man's tie, while he remained bent over him. "That's right. You learned a new word and you can even use it in a sentence. I couldn't be prouder."

[beaky]

"You're a patronising dick. And if you let a cute girl flirt with you again, I'll come after you instead of her." Oswald gave Edward a challenging look before he leaned back in his chair with a smirk, playfully reaching up so he could holding onto Edward's tie and give it a firm tug until he was close enough to kiss. Yes, his boyfriend was handsome and everyone knew it but at least he got to do this. No one else did.

[riddleman]

"Yeah? Come after me. That I'd like to see." No protesting the fact that he was a patronising dick, he knew what he was about. Edward kissed him, then put his hand on his chest, letting it travel down to his thigh, which made it easy to nudge Oswald's legs apart. He moved forward, dropping on one knee so he could easier press himself against his boyfriend. "How would you do that?"

[beaky]

"For starters, if you let other girls touch you, you wouldn't be allowed to touch me. Not unless I said so. You'd have to do everything on my terms to make it back up to me." There was nothing like when Edward got down like that, looking up at him with those beautiful eyes. He ran his hand along the side of his face gently and tilted his head up, meeting his gaze. "You're mine, Edward Nygma. You belong to me as much as I belong to you. Don't ever forget that or I'll make you regret it."

[riddleman]

"Everything on your terms, yeah? What's that like?" Of course he was teasing him now, but it was in good humour and he looked up at Oswald with a smile. "How about if you kill my staff again without asking me first, you can see about being my servant until I stop being upset about it. You meddled with my affairs by killing her. Very inconvenient."

[beaky]

"You're still a dick." He playfully slapped Edward's cheek before sitting back in his chair, spreading his legs out as he tilted his head to the side, slowly debating how he felt about Edward's offer. "How about you stop hiring beautiful staff members to make me jealous and stop letting then fawn all over you. I know you do it, it's good for your ego. And you love your ego more than anything." Not that Oswald minded, it turned him on. "I'd be a terrible servant anyway."

[riddleman]

"You love my ego too. It's part of the attraction. How about you stop being paranoid and start trusting me?" Edward looked up at him, only to roll his eyes. "I don't solely hire them to fawn all over me. I also don't believe they do that in such excess, you just see what you want to see to justify getting rid of them." Dirty, dirty business. "I don't know. You've served me quite well in the past."

[beaky]

"Fine. I guess I can trust you. If you promise, here and now, to never give into temptation and betray me. Promise?" Oswald looked down at Edward, entirely serious, making sure he was looking into Edward's eyes so he could make sure that there was no hint of deception or dishonesty. Of course, Oswald was a bad judge in general so even if there was, he'd never know but this would satisfy him at least. That was something. "I serve you when and if I want to. It's not my way of life, I'm afraid."

[riddleman]

"You're meant to rule, my little bird, and that's just what I like to see you do." Edward didn't hesitate to catch Oswald's eyes and he wondered if he had any clue how much there was inside Edward. He didn't lie, he never had made a habit of that - perhaps he had never been able to - but he knew that there were parts of him that he couldn't necessarily control. "I'm not tempted, Oswald. And I'd not betray you."

[beaky]

"You never would? Then I believe you. And that means I no longer have to take those girls away from you, I suppose." He couldn't help but smirk playfully because when all was said and done, he wasn't the best of men and it was very entertaining to him sometimes. They never needed pretence. "Shame, I was having a lot of fun killing them. I'm up to seven in total." Wait, did he tell him about the full six? ... Eh. Too late now. "I was hoping to hit ten."

[riddleman]

Edward blinked, leaning back and thus away from pressing against Oswald, which was just as well. He slowly took his glasses off and folded them so he could reach behind himself and set them down on top of the desk, ensuring he wouldn't lose them.

Then he simply turned to look at Oswald once more, running a hand through his usually so neat hair to ruffle it and wait for what else his boyfriend would say to incriminate himself.

[beaky]

"Don't tell me you're upset." Oswald had a warped idea of what was funny and so far, that hadn't changed. Seven girls, all of which he felt got too close to Edward, had been punished so far. From the waitress who smiled at him once to the last two assistance he had that mysteriously 'left town'. Whoops.

"Oh come on, you appreciate a good murder as much as I do! You've killed people I like as well. Well, not so much like, but you have. And we've never been caught!"

[riddleman]

"I'm not upset about you killing, Oswald. I'm not a big fan of you using your idea of what protecting me means as a way to vent your petty jealousy." What a manchild, as he always told him. Edward was back to glaring and to thinking about what to do, so he got up, looking over his shoulder behind him. His vision wasn't that bad, he could see the letter opener. Good enough, that ought to work.

[beaky]

"You're upset regardless. I have no idea why. Look, Edward, there are people in your life that you didn't even miss when I got rid of them, you never even saw the total. You didn't miss them then, why care now?" It almost seemed pointless to care when they both knew Edward didn't. As far as he was concerned, he did nothing wrong. But there was Edward, glaring at him, it didn't feel great. With a reluctant sigh, he rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "What can I do to make you smile, my dear Edward?"

[riddleman]

"I don't know," Edward said simply, then he suddenly reached behind himself and a moment later Oswald had a knife against his throat and was pinned in his chair with Edward's knee against his chest while he gripped his hair with his free hand, tight enough to force his head back, making that throat so much easier to threaten. "Maybe seeing you bleed would do the trick."

[beaky]

"Oh, I see, this is how it is." He had no idea if Edward was seriously going to hurt him or if this was a game but either way, he was already so ridiculously turned on. So savage, so flippant. It did things for him. His kneejerk panic came out as a giddy laugh, wriggling back in his chair. "I only bleed for you." He licked his lips and smirked playfully. "Go on then - do it."

[riddleman]

"That's just a lie, Oswald. You're such a pain slut." What? It was true. Oswald came home bleeding every other day it seemed like. Beaten up or stabbed or shot or who knew what way he'd find to get himself into trouble next. Now, there would be a reason to be jealous.

Edward moved the letter opener so he could use it to rip and slice through Oswald's shirt, until it simply hung in shreds off him. So debauched, such an inviting sight. "You want to bleed for me, don't you?"

[beaky]

"I have a face people just want to hit. I kind of think at some point, it's not me, it's the world." Which was very true. Sometimes he was into it, he provoked it, he wanted it. Sometimes everyone just wanted to hurt him and that kind of sucked. Last time Jim Gordon attacked him? Kind of hot. That time Maroni tried to torture him? Sucked. Big time.

He looked down at the shirt Edward had just sliced and pulled a face, looking back up at him in horror. "This was an expensive shirt!" Kinky or not, that stood to reason. He had to protest. "You could ask a little nicer."

[riddleman]

"You enjoy it, Oswald. That's on you." Edward used the tip of the letter opener to caress Oswald's throat, tilting his head as he stood up so he could move to straddle him on the chair, his hand still in his hair, making sure to hold his head in place none too gentle. "All of your shirts are expensive, so you bring that on yourself. Further, I don't plan on asking nicer. I plan on taking what I want without asking. What are you going to do about it?"