yet you cannot live without me

[riddleman]

Assorted Threads.

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[beaky]

I have a lot of friends. Butch, Zsasz, Barbara... others.

Wise, I don't feel like Italian. Whenever we go out for that, we end up being shot at.

[riddleman]

Butch doesn't text. Now, will you talk to me?

Yes, luckily we only have that one branch of mafia to deal with.

[beaky]

He does, I got him a phone. He just doesn't text me.

If I tell you, you'll call me an idiot and rub it in my face and I don't care for that because we just made up and I don't want to go down that road so can we not?

[riddleman]

He only has one hand, I imagine it makes it harder.

I promise not to do that, Oswald. You know I don't break my promises.

Also, what are your thoughts on Japanese.

[beaky]

He only texts short things.

I like Japanese.

I let someone get under my skin like an idiot.

[riddleman]

Heh.

A place that specialises in sushi or something with less seafood?

That happens to me too. It's regrettable, but it won't make me make fun of you. Just tell me and then we can figure out how to deal with them.

[beaky]

I haven't had sushi in a while, we should go there.

They wanted me to align with them and form a new partnership but I didn't want to because I like what they have and they told me -- they told me you'd inevitably betray me. You're smart, you like to be powerful, you're always playing some kind of game. Why wouldn't you play me?

I know you'd never do it but they said you could do better and I started to think.

Well, you could.

[riddleman]

The sushi place does look delightful. Very upscale, you'll like it. Intimate.

Obviously I could. I don't need to point out that people much less intelligent than I have tried before. It wouldn't be that much of a challenge, especially considering your absolute trust in me.

[beaky]

I do like intimate. We haven't had a date for a long time.

You could. And sometimes, I know it's not what you would do but I know you could and it scares me to think how easily as well. I don't want you to hurt me, I don't think I could take it if you betrayed me.

[riddleman]

If you preferred, I could make sure it's only us there. And your security details, obviously.

No, you couldn't. It would crush you.

But as alike as you and me are, Oswald, our goals have never been the same. Of course, I like to make sure you reach yours and that your business runs smoothly, but you know that I've never been interested in the path of being a career criminal or ruling over anything. So what would this betrayal gain me? As it is, I'm with the King of Gotham, which grants me the freedom and resources to work on my passions. I'm not your number two, I'm the only one who does what I do.

[beaky]

That would be lovely, Edward. Yes.

Yes, thank you for pointing that out.

So you only don't betray me because it wouldn't benefit you? I was also hoping out of love but I suppose your airtight logic is reassuring in it's own way. I presume you aren't using me for my power or money either? You could. So easily. Have the perks of being a king without needing to be one.

[riddleman]

What time will you be free?

Of course I'm making use of that. Very convenient.

I love you, Oswald. I have told you that before. But emotions are much less trustworthy than logic, especially for a man such as myself. You know that. I love you and I wish you well and I don't want to hurt you.

Also, it makes no logical sense.

[beaky]

Around seven?

So I was right to feel rather idiotic. I must confess, I never did believe you would hurt me in such a manner but then, I never believed all the people I have loved would do that and they did. I'm happy for you to use my money and my connections as long as I know you love me.

If you break my heart. I will have to destroy you.

[riddleman]

Seven thirty there, seven you are here and we can get dressed.

It is a lot more likely that you will break mine, you will find. That is what I'm expecting and there has been a trend of that throughout my life as well.

[beaky]

All right, I can do that. I'll be home for that time.

Why would I ever break your heart? You're everything to me. I know I'm not the best at this, I know I'm jealous and an idiot and I say things I don't mean but I'd never do any of them. I'd never really hurt you intentionally. I'd never want to leave you either.

[riddleman]

You are ultimately more driven by emotion than I am, you fall in love far easier than I do, you act irrationally, guided by feelings, and if you ever grow tired of me, I have nowhere to go.

[beaky]

Why would I grow tired of you? Edward, you're in all my longterm goals. You're all I want.

My mother used to say, when you find your true love, you hold on to them. You're my true love, Edward. And mother was never wrong.

[riddleman]

If you say so. I trust that you mean it, Oswald. There's no doubt about that and there never has been.

Now tell me who exactly talked like that about me.

[beaky]

The newest kingpin on the scene, the idiot who so rudely broke into my club last week. He seems to be personally going after me. He wants my attention.

I would never work with a man like that. He's too chaotic.

[riddleman]

What's his name again?

It's rude. It does grate me that if I was a woman, this would be taboo. You don't go after the wife unless you're out for blood.

So to say.

[beaky]

One of the sons of Enrico Inzerillo. Everyone just calls him Inzerillo, I never learned the first name.

They want to split us apart, they're jealous of us and what we can do. It's not fair.

They shouldn't say these things to us, Edward. It just makes me angry. I'm sorry I was angry at you instead of him. I admit, I was embarrassed. I didn't want you to think I was being stupid, even though I kind of was.

[riddleman]

Jack Inzerillo? I know who you mean. I'll think about what to do.

Being angry at me was stupid. But he was the one not showing you respect. Falcone wouldn't talk like that. Why can't everyone we deal with be more like Falcone? At least Maroni protected some good restaurants, what has the Inzerillo family ever done for Gotham?

[beaky]

I think that's the one. Either way, the whole family is a thorn in my side, I don't dare which one bites it.

I do miss Falcone, he had class. So few men have class these days. I do wish the men with class tried to kill me less but that is a hazard of the occupation. I can't say I miss Maroni but he had good business sense. The others do not. I don't think the Inzerillo want to help Gotham, they just want to exploit it.

[riddleman]

The oldest son is Jack. It's usually the oldest one who's the biggest asshole. Then you have the dumber ones and then there's always one who actually wants to be a pacifist. Typically dies first. Very by the numbers.

Do you want to take the Inzerillos on your and Butch's style or do you want my help?

[beaky]

Are you basing all of this from mob literature? Because you're not wrong. There is a pattern. There's also usually a younger sibling who wishes to conquer the empire and kill the older sibling while the middle is usually a pacifist.

I want you to help. I want to do it together. I feel it's more fitting that way.