yet you cannot live without me

[riddleman]

Assorted Threads.

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[riddleman]

Sure, sure, that too.

Captain Cold. You blush like a schoolboy.

[beaky]

Do not.

... Do you think he got the flowers I sent him? And the coat? If he visits again, he'll need one. Gotham is drafty.

[riddleman]

I think he's more interested in things shinier than flowers and he seemed pretty attached to the coat he was wearing. Called a parka, by the way.

[beaky]

So what you're saying is I should send him a necklace.

I have a really good idea!

[riddleman]

I don't know. The only jewellery he was wearing was what I'm pretty sure is a wedding ring.

What idea do you have?

[beaky]

This!

It's diamond and silver. Very classy.

Do you think he's married?

[riddleman]

Sure, that's cute. What do I get?

He's an attractive, confident man in his forties and he hasn't been looking at or for anyone else the entire time he was in Gotham, so either he is very married or asexual.

[beaky]

This cause it's cute. Like me!

Possible. Explains why he wasn't into us. Especially you. You're so handsome, how can anyone look at you and not want you?

[riddleman]

Aw, yes. Gimme.

As I keep telling you, Oswald, the number of people who have wanted me is two and a half. Either way, I didn't ask him. But need I remind you that YOU are taken?

[beaky]

I shall!

Everyone wants you, you're ever so dashing. Barbara told me last time we hung out that you've somehow gotten hotter. You're transcended the dork and reached classical handsomeness.

Also I know that. And besides, he'd never want me anyway so it's moot.

[riddleman]

If Barbara says so, it clearly has to be true.

No, it's moot because you are taken. Otherwise it makes it sound that if he opened the door right now, grabbed you, slammed you against the wall and started kissing you, you'd be on board.

[beaky]

And Tabby! And even Butch, strangely enough.

No, I would most certainly not be because I belong to you. Entirely. No matter how beautiful that man is or how much his breath smells a little like peppermint.

[riddleman]

Right. I'm uniquely handsome and you were the only one to realise, but now all the world can see.

...how do you know what his breath smells like?

[beaky]

That is so very true. Also you just look more confident and cool now.

I made him tea and I gave it to him then I leaned in to pour the milk and he spoke. Entirely innocent!

[riddleman]

Fair enough. Now I wonder what Central City person we'll get next. Young Trickster seems like he'd fit right in.

He has to be as gay as you.

[beaky]

I saw his vines, I can't even argue with you. I think him and Jerome would have had a beautiful relationship.

I hardly doubt I'm that obviously gay. Women try to seduce me all the time"

[riddleman]

Yeah, they do. I've no idea what that's all about. Everyone knows you're with me and they still send women after you. WHY? Is it so difficult to find a male playboy to seduce you?

Not that I'm complaining.

[beaky]

The last girl to try told me I was just confused and could very obviously be bisexual. Safe bet says if I like my boyfriends cock, I'm probably gay. Not saying I can't be bi but play the odds, you know?

[riddleman]

That's what I'd think. I know exactly what kind of boy I'd send after you.

[beaky]

Really?

Do share.

[riddleman]

[beaky]

I approve.

[riddleman]

Same guy.

Also, pretty much what you put on me last time you knocked me out.

[beaky]

You refused to wear it when awake, I improvised.

I love it. Nice look. A lot like you in some ways.

[riddleman]

Because I don't want to be dressed up as your fetish doll. Even if you make it happen just about every time I'm tied up. Which is admittedly weird enough to be arousing.

EXACTLY. Why doesn't anyone take that obvious route? Women scare you.